Foster care adoption

this great post was offered on the Choice Mom discussion board by Mary, and I'm reprinting it here.

I am in the process in finalizing a foster-adoption. It has been an awesome experience and I am willing to talk to anyone about it. I am constantly amazed at how little is known about foster-adoption. There is a lot of misinformation out there and its sad because there are so many great kids who need a home.

The thing about foster-adoption is that the rules vary by state. Luckily I live in CA and there is no discrimination. I know that is not the case in other states. In International adoption, that certainly is not the case. Countries can exclude whoever they want from the process. I was told that I probably would not get a young child, it simply was not common for single adopters. I was fine with that. Imagine my surprise when I met my son. He was a little less than 1 year at our first meeting, and he was 15 months when he came to live with me forever.

I found that many things in the foster/adoption process are up to you and the effort you are willing to put in. The paper work can be daunting but how long it takes is more or less up to you. You do have to get finger printed and a background check and the time that takes will vary. I did that first, so by the time I finished the rest of my paperwork the results were back. It took me a year to finish the paperwork, but it could have taken a lot less if I had pushed it. When you pick an agency to go through ask how long it will take to finish your homestudy once your paperwork is done. My agency got my homestudy done in less than a month.

It did not cost me anything. $$ was one of the main reasons I ended up even looking at foster-adoption, I simply could not afford the $30,000 for international or domestic private adoption. I wanted to be able to stay home for a few weeks/months with my child and not have to worry about $$. As it turned out, I actually get foster care payments for my son and once the adoption is final I will be eligible for adoption assistance. I did not even know that when I started the process. I would survive without the $$ but I was able to use it to afford a fantastic pre-school for my son that would have otherwise been too expensive.

You can get an newborn through foster-adoption, at least in CA. I won't go into all of the details but its riskier. In general, there is a greater risk of reunification with the birth-parents or another family member. It is possible (even for single mothers) and I do know people who have gone this route. I decided it was not the correct path for me, but it might be for others.

One of other differences between foster-adoption and International or private domestic adoption is that you will be checked up on. Until the adoption is finalized, you are a foster parent and you will be visited by social workers. My social worker visits with me twice a month and my son's social worker (from the county) sees him once a month. When I was on leave, the visits were really great. It was nice just to see another adult sometimes who really understood what I was going through.

Now that I am working full-time, it's more difficult to fit these visits into our schedule. Luckily my social worker is really flexible. The county social worker often visits my son at pre-school. So we have made it work. In addition to the social workers, there are the various therapists that my son sees. Most of these visits have stopped. He made so much progress once he came to live with me, that we were able to end a lot of the services he was receiving. People have told me this is common. Having a forever home makes a huge difference in a child's development. The one therapist he still sees visits him at preschool. Even that therapy will probably end by his second birthday.

I cannot say enough good things about the foster-adoption process.