submitted by Jeanne
I am 40 years old and began this journey about 10 months ago (when I was a mere 39!). I'd always half-joked that if I didn't find Mr. Right by the time I was 30, then I'd have a child on my own. Well, 30 came and went, and I changed my deadline a few times. I figured Mr. Right had to be out there somewhere, I could wait.
Before I knew it, 40 loomed on the horizon. Yes, my grandmother had had her last two children (out of 10) at the ages of 44 and 46 - but could I take the chance it would work for me? So, at my annual physical, I mustered the courage to talk to my physician about donor insemination. She was very supportive and immediately referred me to the infertility clinic (the wait to get in could be 10 months to a year). I left feeling very nervous about the whole thing, but figured I'd have one more year to get used to the idea.
Well, only four months later, I had an appointment at the clinic. I wasn't sure I was ready, but was too scared to let the appointment go. Long story short, the process began. And three unmedicated IUI's later, I'm pregnant!
I did have time to go through changing my mind 100 times, coming up with new things to worry about, wondering if I was doing the right thing, and so on. But, now I'm pregnant.
I'm very thankful and happy mostly. But every once in awhile all those old fears creep back. Will I be okay financially? Will the child hate me for doing this without a father? And now there's some new worries. Will this baby be healthy? Will I have a miscarriage? Will I have enough support? What will certain people say when they find out??
The difference now is I seem to have more faith in things just working out somehow. I guess I finally realize the worrying is kind of pointless. Besides, all this worrying isn't good for the baby!!
Heading into 40
8 years ago
2 comments:
Hey jeanne, congratulations girl, fantastic news. Don't be too hard on yourself for worrying, there can't be a mum to be on the planet who hasn't gone through all your concerns, but hopefully you can focus on relaxation and excitement as you nurture new life.
I've had one IUI attempt and immediately took a month off - just really needed to be kind to myself and focus on other more trivial things for a while. Now I have my terms of reference and know what the process is, I think I'll be more ready to manage the emotional flow around it as I move forwards.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your success stories, it's really inspiring and encouraging.
Lots of love and good health to you and your growing baby from MissB in the UK.
Just like you, I thought if I didn't find Mr. Right by the time I was 30, then I'd have a child on my own. Also, 30 came and went, but it took me less than 10 more years to re-examine the situation! at 31, I got really worried and started moving things along. As of today, I am 32 and pregnant. And, if it is of any consolation I have *exact* same worries as you. We all do, it seems. But it will be fine.
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